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They're replacing 100,000 Desert Marines with 5,000 women with PMS.
They're meaner, and they can retain water for 7 days.

Two Marines were having a chat during their free time.
First Marine: Why did you join the Marine Corp?
Second Marine: I didn't have a wife and I love war. So I joined. How about you? Why did you...

Subject: Iraq

SEC.STATE Colin Powell was recently approached by an Iraqi news-paper reporter and accusingly asked, "Isn't it true that only 13 percent of young Americans can locate Iraq on a map?"...

A Marine buys a round of drinks for all in the bar because, he announces, his wife has just produced "a typical Marine" baby boy weighing 25 pounds.

Congratulations are showered on him from all...

Marine Gate Guards (M.P.)

Two airmen were driving across country on leave. They come to a Marine Corps base and decide
to visit. They approach the gate and the Marine Guard walks up to the...

A Senior Drill Instructor (Parris Island) wakes up all of his recruits one night at about 2:30, and to see how tough they are he has them assemble outside naked in the freezing cold. As he makes his...

St. Peter was at the gate of Heaven and a guy walks up. "What were you on earth?" "I was a policeman with the Los Angeles Police Dept." was the answer. "What did you do on the force? "I was the...

SGLI
The Gunny was assigned to the MCRD where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their SGLI insurance.

It wasn't long before the Captain noticed that the Gunny...

Dear John

A Marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there he received a letter from his girlfriend, in which she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone, she...

A salty Navy Chief and a crusty Marine Corps Gunny are at a bar arguing about who had the tougher career.

"I did 30 years in the Marine Corps," the Gunny declared proudly, "and fought in three of...

A young Marine officer was in a car accident, but due to the heroics of another young officer the only permanent injury was to both ears, which were subsequently amputated. Since he wasn't physically...

In an effort to ensure proper training and readiness among the military services, Congress has approved the following changes to basic principles of recruit training:
HAIRCUTS:
Marines-heads will...

One reason the Services have trouble operating jointly is that
they don't speak the same language.

For example, if you told Navy personnel to "secure a building,"
they would turn off the lights...

A Drill Instructor had just chewed out one of his recruits, and as he was walking away,
he turned to the recruit and said, "I guess when I die you'll come and dance on my grave."
The recruit...

The Girl and her Marine Boyfriend
The girl called a sex therapist and said, "Remember when you told
me the way to a man's heart was through his stomach? Well last
night I found a new route... Now...

Army vs Marines
Two Army Soldiers boarded a quick shuttle flight out of Dallas, headed for Houston.
One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat.
Just before take-off, a Marine got...

A famous Admiral and an equally famous Marine Corps General were fishing together when a sudden squall came up. When it died down both "eminent warriors" were struggling helplessly in the water. The...

A platoon of Taliban's were marching down this road when they came upon a large hill. Then a voice over the hill rang out : "One Marine can kick the **** out of a platoon of Taliban's".

The...

Two Marines were off on their annual trip to the Canadian wilderness to bag a moose.
As the seaplane landed on a lake in a remote area, the pilot said, "I'll be back in one
week to pick you up. But...

Two brothers enlisting in the Marine Corps were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized p@nises.
...

The Marine and His Daughters
There was a Marine who had three daughters. He was in a habit of worrying
about his daughters and always answered the door with a sawed-off shotgun.

One night he...

Know what???? I'm tempted to bring a WM over here,,,, Your asses will be grass. I see that Army button, I respect it. Doubt if anyone else knows what it is.

Quit blowin smoke up my skirt,,,,,,,,,,,Or I'll require a kiss,,,,,,,,,,

Three Marines were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first Marine said "those are deer tracks." The second Marine said "No, those are elk tracks." The third Marine...

Back in 1775, in Tun's Tavern, recruiting started for the new Marine Corps. The very first Marine enlistee came in, signed the papers and took an oath. He was then told to go outside and wait for the...