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ianstone
05-17-2010, 06:01 AM
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I wanted to end it all... and so drove into a lamppost at 100mph


http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01045/SNN1713A-6826_1045056a.jpg Horror drive ... Johnson Beharry with his new Lexus after smashing his first into lamppost

Darren Fletcher




myView

By ROBERT MARSH
From charity Combat Stress



IT IS incredibly courageous of Johnson Beharry to speak out.
It will help normalise the psychological effects of war for all the other brave young men and women who have been posted to countries like Iraq and Afghanistan.
Johnson's experiences must have been very difficult to come to terms with and this shows there is a huge need amongst veterans which isn't being met.
Many former soldiers being looked after by Combat Stress say without our help they would either be dead or in prison.
We launched the Enemy Within Appeal this year. The target is to raise £30million to develop the treatment in our three short stay residential centres and to expand by deploying 14 outreach teams.
We also want to raise awareness and encourage veterans and their families to seek help much earlier.
More must be done to help British veterans with psychological problems, and Combat Stress is trying hard to improve this desperate situation.






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Published: Today





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VICTORIA Cross hero Johnson Beharry tried to commit suicide by driving his car into a lamppost at 100mph, The Sun can reveal.

The 30-year-old Iraq veteran was pushed to the edge after years of depression brought on by the horrors of war.






Britain's most highly-decorated soldier showed incredible courage by twice saving colleagues while under intense enemy fire in Iraq in 2004.
He was awarded the VC in April 2005 by the Queen.
But living with the memory of how pals in Iraq had died - and feeling a sense of guilt that he survived - was one battle he thought he could never win.
And, like many soldiers before him, Lance Corporal Beharry sunk into a depression so deep he decided to end it all.

http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01045/SNN1712D-380_1045050a.jpg Pride ... Beharry with VC and General Sir Mike Jackson

Incredibly, he survived. But he now wants to help colleagues going through a similar hell by telling his story.
Speaking exclusively to The Sun, L/Cpl Beharry said: "Everyone thinks I'm a hero because I was awarded a VC, but I'm just a normal soldier who can't get away from his demons.
"And if it can happen to me it must be happening to thousands of soldiers who are suffering and need help."

http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01045/SNN1712C-380_1045052a.jpg Courage ... hero Beharry in Iraq

L/Cpl Beharry, of 1st Battalion, Princess of Wales's Royal Regiment, was finally tipped over the edge by an early-morning bust-up with his partner at their South London home.
He said: "I was really down and depressed. I was around my house with my missus when I mentioned that I sometimes thought I should kill myself.
"She started crying and arguing with me.
"After a few minutes I just stormed out the house." L/Cpl Beharry got into his powerful £32,000 black Lexus IS250 - bought with money from his memoirs - and roared off.
He went on: "I would always hit the road if I felt angry because that was the one place I felt in control. But that night I was as angry as I'd ever been.
"I drove up the hill thinking 'This is too much, I can't deal with this'. I couldn't go through life not knowing what to expect.
"I'm always in physical pain. My back never stops hurting and driving faster seemed like a good way to numb it. I then went over the top of a hill and started driving down this slope at 100mph."

Shaking with emotion L/Cpl Beharry told how he darted over speed humps on the winding Champion Hill in Dulwich, South East London.
At first the driving calmed him but then a "surge of pain" triggered a moment of madness.
Oncoming traffic swerved out of his way as he strayed into the centre of the road. Then he noticed the lampposts he was speeding past - and decided to head straight for one.
He added: "In the Army we were taught to think on our feet and that's what I did.
"I picked a lamppost which seemed to be next to a slightly raised section of pavement and drove straight for it. I looked at the road and there was nobody.
"So I thought if I hit the side of the pavement and then the lamppost I could damage the fuel tank and hit the electricity to create a spark which would set the car on fire. So I did it.
"I heard a huge crash as the right hand side of my car collided with the lamppost. I closed my eyes and hoped that would be my end."
But Beharry's expensive car crumpled in the collision, leaving him unconscious but not badly harmed.
Passers-by alerted the emergency services and he was taken by ambulance to the Queen Elizabeth Military Hospital in nearby Woolwich. Incredibly, Beharry escaped with minor scrapes and bumps.
When he came out of hospital a week after the crash in December 2008, the NCO promised his girlfriend and family he would never attempt suicide again. He added: "Yes, I'm the most decorated soldier in the British Army but I'm a human being as well - and I'm suffering.
"Sometimes you just can't get away from the things you've seen.

http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01045/SNN1712E-380_1045051a.jpg Royal honour ... Beharry lays a wreath with the Queen

"During the daytime I can keep busy to keep away the demons, but at night when I'm alone with my thoughts my mind drifts back to my friends being blown up and all those I left behind. I can't get away from it.
"The minute I close my eyes I start sweating and seeing the faces of my dead friends. This is what makes me think, 'What is the point of me being alive when I'm suffering like this?'"
L/Cpl Beharry went on: "I have been lucky and had good treatment but more needs to be done for soldiers in the same situation. I hope David Cameron and new Defence Secretary Liam Fox can do more.
"Help and care needs to be ongoing and available to everyone who served on the battlefield. My message to other soldiers feeling like this would be to talk to each other.
"If you keep it in until it blows up you could do something you regret - just like me."

d.willetts@ (%20d.willetts@the-sun.co.uk)



Read more: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/campaigns/our_boys/2975200/Victoria-Cross-hero-Johnson-Beharry-tried-to-commit-suicide.html#ixzz0oBAs0IRL

PTSD Is a crippling illness and is not the easy way out.
It is not a sign of weakness, just a reaction to the subconscious horrors you mind has had to deal with.
My best Friend has PTSD and Bipolar disorder and Acute SR
AS does my life long army buddy Dave. He is an absolute diamond.