Mel
03-18-2010, 09:52 PM
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was
flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
-------------
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to
150 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...
------------
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I
take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started...
------------
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school
reunion, and I kept
staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat
alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old
girlfriend. I understand she
took to drinking
right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear
she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a
person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
------------
I took my wife to a restaurant.The waiter, for some reason,
took my order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare,
please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started....
------------
My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, 'I feel horrible; I
look old,fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.....
------------
My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her not
as much as the dress she wore yesterday.
And then the fight started.....
------------
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And then the fight started....
flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
-------------
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to
150 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...
------------
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I
take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started...
------------
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school
reunion, and I kept
staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat
alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old
girlfriend. I understand she
took to drinking
right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear
she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a
person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
------------
I took my wife to a restaurant.The waiter, for some reason,
took my order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare,
please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started....
------------
My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, 'I feel horrible; I
look old,fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.....
------------
My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her not
as much as the dress she wore yesterday.
And then the fight started.....
------------
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And then the fight started....