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nastyleg
06-13-2009, 03:43 AM
Summer Classes for Women at
THE
ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by June 29, 2009

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.


Class 1
Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 wks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM ..

Class 2
Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?--Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM

Class 6
How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM , 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT!
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM , location to be determined

Class 12
How to Shop by Yourself.
Meets 4 wks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM .

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering To Take a List To The Store, Avoiding Separate Trips for Each Item Needed.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM , location to be determined.


Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Cruelbreed
06-13-2009, 02:52 PM
lol that's so awesome. I liked the how to apply brakes without throwing everyone out the window

Scott
06-13-2009, 03:00 PM
man thats quality LMFAO. i'll see if my mum and sisters will attend this most likely will. lol

nastyleg
06-13-2009, 03:47 PM
Glad you like I will try and do some more

Cruelbreed
06-13-2009, 10:06 PM
Give us all you got man, I need a lot more humorous material in my day :D

nastyleg
06-14-2009, 03:29 AM
There was a guy who was constipated. He went down to the pharmacist and asked for help. The elderly pharmacist pulls out this big jar filled with powder, a cup, a spoon, and a water jug. The pharmacists asked the man how far is it from here to you'r street. Man replies 6 blocks. The pharmacists puts some of the powder in the cup. Turns back to the gentleman then asks from the edge of you'r block to you'r house? Man answers 5 houses. The old man puts alittle bit more in the cup. From you'r driveway to the front door? The man replies 13 Ft. The pharmacists puts some more in the cup. From there hw many ft to your bathroom door. 15 ft. Puts in a slight amount of the powder in to the cup. From your bathroom door to the seat. 5 ft he replies. Thepharmacist puts just a pinch in the cup, takes a hard look at it and takes out a spoonful. He adds the water stirs it for him. Before the old man handsthe poor lad his drink he warns him. Do not stop for broken down cars, wrecks or any distraction other than the lights and signs got it. Go home and get right to the bathroom. Dont make any trips to the kitchen or anywere else or that matter got it. Crystal clear sir can I drink now. The old man nods and the lad drinks it greedly. Then darts off to his car and disappears. The next day the young man comes back and pays for the drink and exclaims...doc you should of been a rocket scientist you miss the toilet by 2 ft.