BrendenF11
05-09-2012, 09:50 PM
It is the time of year to go and find the famed and expensive morel mushrooms. Ohh I found them, and they were plentiful. While minding my own business, and using the militaries advice and the adivce of myself not to mess with the animals, picking a rather large batch of 10-20 morels laying near the base of an old knocked down chineese elm I heard a ruffle. I made some noise to scare whatever critter was lurking away, as most animals run when faced with a noise and a potentially larger adversary. Did I mention it is still spring and most animals have their young out this time of year?
Now I have been attacked by animals before usually they are just curious and slightly aggressive, I was once attacked by a great horned owl. He swooped down after I had come in from the field from deer hunting, knocked my hat off but my swinging twelve guage scared him away.
I then heard some what of a squeel/grunt, curious I looked behind me. I beheld a porcupine in my sites, about 7 or 8 feet away, back arched and looking kind of mean. I stood up and stepped back, the little critter moved towards me in a rather rapid and aggressive manner. I decided that he was a threat to my safety and not fucking around, he closed the last 2 feet much quicker than I had anticipated. It struck at me quickly and ferouciously. I had one quill in my jeans at this point, and decided that jumping into the nearby tree would be a good measure.
The tree, which I thought would provide safety was mearly a trap set by the porcupine. It turns out that these little bastards can climb, thankfully not to quickly. I did not know this, and I am quite disappointed in myself to not thoroughly doing my recon on all animals of Minnesota. I will complete this task as soon as possible. As I scurried up the tree with a smile on my face, thinking I had escaped this 20lb monster, I turned to see him moving up the tree. Upon my research of where to jump to I saw two little porcupines sitting underneath the tree where I was picking the mushrooms, in a little den. I jumped and proceded to hurry my ass out of the AO.
After doing a quick BDA on my clothing and the last few morels I was not able to grab, I decided that a further inspection of the grove was more than worth it. Finding my second batch of morels I was happy as could be.
It turns out it was an ambush. I was violently and remorsely assaulted by the geese I had been hearing all morning. They are fucking mean. I assume I was close to their nests in the reeds surrounding a slew. I had just bent over to pick one of the delicious morsels when I heard the honking, looking to my left I could see they were in a V formation guns ablazing straight for me. I started to run, they bite and they bite fucking hard. The pursuit lasted roughly 50 yards, a slow 50 yards through the brush, I also clipped a swamp and had to fend off one of the marauding mongrels while on my back in swamp water. I really regretted not wearing my gortex boots at this point, along with wet weather gear.
After all of this I held onto my bag of morels, capturing roughly 45 of delicious bastards. Upon returning to my truck, a DNR officer was just getting ready to do a survey of the area and the wildlife populations. Bleeding from my right ear from a bite from the goose, pants torn from the hole caused by the quill and its removal, then ripped further by a branch during the ensuing retreat from the geese. I came trudging up rather tired and covered in swamp water and much. He looked at me and asked "Are you enjoying your day at the spa?" I simply replied, "Everything past the wire (referencing the barbed wire fence surrounding the approach where you can park), is hostile territory. I advise you bring atleast two agents, and grab a couple of shotguns and AR's to back yourself up with." He laughed his ass off when I told him what happened, and said that was why he had binoculars.
All in all it was a successful mission to get the morsels I desired. Just be warned the enemy is every where, they prefer the ambush over the direct approach. Always recon an area, and make sure you have some sort of defense against any threat!
Now I have been attacked by animals before usually they are just curious and slightly aggressive, I was once attacked by a great horned owl. He swooped down after I had come in from the field from deer hunting, knocked my hat off but my swinging twelve guage scared him away.
I then heard some what of a squeel/grunt, curious I looked behind me. I beheld a porcupine in my sites, about 7 or 8 feet away, back arched and looking kind of mean. I stood up and stepped back, the little critter moved towards me in a rather rapid and aggressive manner. I decided that he was a threat to my safety and not fucking around, he closed the last 2 feet much quicker than I had anticipated. It struck at me quickly and ferouciously. I had one quill in my jeans at this point, and decided that jumping into the nearby tree would be a good measure.
The tree, which I thought would provide safety was mearly a trap set by the porcupine. It turns out that these little bastards can climb, thankfully not to quickly. I did not know this, and I am quite disappointed in myself to not thoroughly doing my recon on all animals of Minnesota. I will complete this task as soon as possible. As I scurried up the tree with a smile on my face, thinking I had escaped this 20lb monster, I turned to see him moving up the tree. Upon my research of where to jump to I saw two little porcupines sitting underneath the tree where I was picking the mushrooms, in a little den. I jumped and proceded to hurry my ass out of the AO.
After doing a quick BDA on my clothing and the last few morels I was not able to grab, I decided that a further inspection of the grove was more than worth it. Finding my second batch of morels I was happy as could be.
It turns out it was an ambush. I was violently and remorsely assaulted by the geese I had been hearing all morning. They are fucking mean. I assume I was close to their nests in the reeds surrounding a slew. I had just bent over to pick one of the delicious morsels when I heard the honking, looking to my left I could see they were in a V formation guns ablazing straight for me. I started to run, they bite and they bite fucking hard. The pursuit lasted roughly 50 yards, a slow 50 yards through the brush, I also clipped a swamp and had to fend off one of the marauding mongrels while on my back in swamp water. I really regretted not wearing my gortex boots at this point, along with wet weather gear.
After all of this I held onto my bag of morels, capturing roughly 45 of delicious bastards. Upon returning to my truck, a DNR officer was just getting ready to do a survey of the area and the wildlife populations. Bleeding from my right ear from a bite from the goose, pants torn from the hole caused by the quill and its removal, then ripped further by a branch during the ensuing retreat from the geese. I came trudging up rather tired and covered in swamp water and much. He looked at me and asked "Are you enjoying your day at the spa?" I simply replied, "Everything past the wire (referencing the barbed wire fence surrounding the approach where you can park), is hostile territory. I advise you bring atleast two agents, and grab a couple of shotguns and AR's to back yourself up with." He laughed his ass off when I told him what happened, and said that was why he had binoculars.
All in all it was a successful mission to get the morsels I desired. Just be warned the enemy is every where, they prefer the ambush over the direct approach. Always recon an area, and make sure you have some sort of defense against any threat!